Advice
by Blonde Badger
Summary: Illusia is over, now Jim has to deal with dating in the real world, but to get started he's gonna need some advice and it seems he's found the perfect source
1. Prologue

"Gene C'mon stop being as ass about this, i went with you to the bar, the gun store, the off license, we've spent the whole day doing what you've wanted to do, the least you could do is wait while i have a look in this book store" Jim said fixing the older man with a glare.  
  
"Ok Ok, I don't see why you keep looking in these secondhand shops though, I mean whats the point?" Gene said following Jim through the door into the shop. Inside Jim was allready thumbing through an old magazine.  
  
"You never know what you'll find, there's loads of interestin' stuff to be had in here." Gene responded to this with a grunt. Putting the magazine down he approached one of the bookcases against the far wall.   
  
It had been 6 months since Aisha had been hurt by the attempted robbery, 6 months since he discovered that his friend from Illusia, Odana and Aisha C'lan C'lan were one and the same person; 6 months since their first kiss. It hadn't truly been difficult for the pair to keep their relationship a secret, the only other person who knew was their shipmate Suzuka. Almost every night they had met up on Illusia but over a couple of weeks ago they heard the new that Illusia was going to be taken down for 2 monthes to do upgrades to the system. At first neither Jim nor Aisha were pleased to hear this but after a night of talking they had decided that each was comfortable enough with each other that they no longer needed to keep their relationship a secret any longer.   
  
Allthough Jim seemed perfectly ok with this inside he was more than a little nervous about how they were going to continue. He always felt a lot more confident as Hayth dealing with Odana than as Jim dealing with Aisha. Still he had resolved to try his best regardless.  
  
He and Gene had gone on a trip into the city to meet a potential client but as Gene had argued while they were here they might as well have a little fun. As Jim studdied the shelves, there was one book which leapt out and grabbed his attention, the cover had a photo taped onto it. Years ago the photo had been torn in two but what was shown on the left over half was a japanese man in a tuxedo, his black hair was tied back into a short ponytail, you couldn't see much of the other person in the picture but from what was shown it appeared that she was wearing a wedding dress.  
  
The title of the book read "Advice on the Courting of an Female Member of an Alien Species by a Human Male" by Tenchi Masaki.  
  
"Jim c'mon lets go!" Gene yelled walking out of the store.  
  
Taking the book to the shopkeeper, who was glaring at them both, Jim handed over some cash for the book and headed out through the door  
  
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Authors Notes  
  
First i wanna apologize for the huge delay in this there've been numerous problems with work, my computer, writiers block and trying to decide how to continue this story, but im happy with this now so with any luck ill be updating fairly regularly, i hope you all enjoy reading it, please review as i go along and tell me what u think,   
  
This story isn't exactly a cross over with Tenchi Muyo, its just that Tenchi fits quite well and their may be a few passing references to the series but nothing plot vital, besides who better to give advice on the subject of interspecies romance than the galactic romeo that is Tenchi Masaki  
  
Ja Ne  
  
Nick Watt 


	2. Introduction

Outlaw Star's not mine, not making any money  
  
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Gene sat in the front seat singing along to one of the tracks blaring from the cars radio. Trying desperately to block out the redhead's screeching, Jim opened up the book and began to read.  
  
'I don't know if anyone will ever read this, but i think that it won't be long until the human race makes contact with the other forms of life we share the galaxy with. Now you might think i'm mad to believe this but i have a "special" situation that has proven to me that we are definitly not alone. You might be questioning why I should be the one to write this. The only answer i can give is that this 'situation' has definitely given me quite a lot of unique experiance in this field. So whether you believe what I will write or not, the material in this book was learnt the hard way.  
  
I think that i should point out first that this book is not a guide on how to pick up women from alien races. What I'm trying to do with this book is give advice on how to proceed if you find yourself the recipricant of attention from an alien female.  
  
I hope that this book will be a help to you and will stop you from making the same mistakes that i have made.  
  
Yours Tenchi Masaki'  
  
Finishing the prologue, Jim looked up at the road to see their building coming into sight. Snapping the book shut, he hid it away in his jacket pocket.  
  
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As they walked through the door, Jim's eyes were instantly drawn over to where Aisha was sitting on the sofa. As Gene shut the door behind them Aisha turned and shot Jim a bright grin which he returned. Aisha went back to her Soap as Jim climbed the stairs up to his room. Sitting at his desk, Jim flipped open his laptop and began updating one of his contact databases. He kept working for a couple of hours when he heard a soft knocking on the door. Saving his work, Jim turned to the door and said "Come in"  
  
Aisha pushed the door open quietly and shut it behind her.  
  
"Hey" she said, sitting opposite him on the end of his bed. "What're you up to?"  
  
Jim regarded her with a smile "Not much just sorting out some work. Kinda dull really"  
  
"Mmm sounds it." Aisha purred.  
  
"What can i do for you?"Jim said.  
  
"What? I can't just pop in on my favourite human for no good reason?" Jim fixed her with a skeptical gaze.  
  
"Well, you could, but that answer removed any chance of that being the truth."  
  
Aisha just grinned in response to this. "Do you remember what we were talking about a week ago? About going public?"  
  
"Yes?" Jim replied cautiously.  
  
"I wanna go on a date. A real date. With you."  
  
"Um ok. What kind of date"  
  
Aisha's grin broadened.  
  
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On the roof of Starwind and Hawking, two figures could be seen in the moonlight locked together in combat.  
  
Suzuka raised her bokken to parry Jim's downward slash "So what did she say?"  
  
Jim pressed his attack with a horizontal strike aimed at Suzuka's mid section. "Well she just said that that was up to me, it was my choice."  
  
The ex-assassin knocked his sword away leaving Jim defenseless. "So what's the problem?"  
  
Jim leapt back and resumed a ready position to deal with Suzuka's attack. "Well, the thing is that we haven't actually gone on a proper date yet"  
  
Suzuka lunged foward "No?"  
  
Leaping back, Jim danced away from the thrust "Not really, all of our dates have been in Illusia."  
  
Suzuka pressed forwards attempting to have one of many slashes connect with Jim's arms "So what are you planning on doing then?"  
  
Jim's face was a mask of concentration as he weaved between the attacks alternating between dodging and blocking the swings. "I have no idea."  
  
Suzuka stopped attacking and looked over at her sparing partner. "What do you mean?"  
  
Jim let his wooden broadsword hang limp at his side. "I've never gone on a real date before. I don't know what she's going to expect."  
  
Suzuka walked to the stairs leading down to the rest of the building, patting Jim on the shoulder as she walked past. "I'm sure you'll think of something."   
  
Laying his practice blade down at his side and approached the edge of the roof. Sitting down he swung his legs over the side and stared out across the night skyline. He sat there, near motionless for a few moments before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his book. Opening it up he began the first Chapter.  
  
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Ok i know i said that i would update more often so please dont shoot me, i intend to get next part out tomorrow. Inshalla  
  
Anyway hope u are all enjoying this next chapter. "The first Date" 


	3. Chapter 1

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" In this first chapter I'm gonna discuss basic starting points. First, and this is my opinion on any relationship, human or alien, you should be friends first. The second thing that you should always keep first in your mind is that the way relationships work on earth is very rarely similar to the way relationships work on other planets and a perfect first date on earth might be an deadley insult on another plannet."   
  
From "Advice on the Courting of an Female Member of an Alien Species by a Human Male" by Tenchi Masaki.  
  
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Jim adjusted the collar of his shirt, looking in the mirror infront of him. He had to admit he looked good, the black shirt and blue jeans looked suited him. His bedroom door was open and the sound of footprints could be heard coming down the hallway.  
  
As he approached the open door Gene casually glanced in but stopped when he saw what Jim was doing. "Hey Jim. Gotta hot date tonight?" the redhead teased.  
  
"As a matter of fact yes."   
  
Needless to say this was not the response that Gene was expecting, however he recovered splendedly. "Oh yeah? So what's she like then"   
  
"Beautiful."  
  
"Oh yeah?"  
  
"But she's not your type"  
  
"No?"  
  
"Trust me on this." Jim said with a grin as he walked up to Aisha's door and knocked on it  
  
Aisha opened her door and smiled at Jim. "Are you ready?" he asked.  
  
"Yup. What are you staring at Gene?" Aisha asked. She was wearing a loose Turtleneck and a pair of leather trousers.  
  
The two blondes stood there waiting for an answer but when it seemed that none was coming they headed downstairs and out into the city. 10 minutes later Gene was still standing there staring at Aisha's door.  
  
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"So what have you got planned?" The C'tarl C'tarl asked  
  
"I was thinking dinner first if that was ok?"  
  
"Sounds good" Aisha said linking her arm in his.  
  
The pair continued walking for several minutes just enjoying each other's company.  
  
It wasn't long before Jim turned into a small alleyway and headed to an open doorway.  
  
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Bussiness had been quiet recently so Jim had been able to devote his entire day to finding somewhere to take Aisha and so far he'd had no joy. He was sitting at a park bench eating a sandwitch he'd just bought, flipping through a pamflet which detailed the various sites and attractions which the city had to offer.   
  
He idly flipped a page as he popped the remaining corner of his lunch into his mouth. It was then that he noticed an advert for a new restaurant in town. The ad read  
  
' Herbies  
  
A restaurant designed for home cooking  
  
No matter which part of the galaxy you're from, be you C'tarl C'tarl, Silgrian, Saurian or Human,  
  
We can offer you a taste of home.'   
  
It seemed too good to be true but Jim wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth and headed towards the restaurant.  
  
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Upon entering the Restaurant Jim was greeted by a middle-aged human woman with short strawberry blonde hair wearing a pleasent expression on her face  
  
"Hi, Welcome to Herbie's. My name is Elisa. What can i get for you?"   
  
"My name is Jim Hawking and I was wondering if i could book a table for tonight?" Jim asked.  
  
"That's no problem. What time would you like the table for?"  
  
"Would 8 o'clock be ok?"  
  
"Sure. Will you be eating alone or will you have company?"  
  
This caused Jim to blush. "I-I'll be wanting a table for two please."  
  
This caused a sly smile to appear on Elisa's face "Oh, I understand. Well We'll see you tonight then."   
  
"Y-Yeah, thanks." Jim said as he backed away out from the restaurant.  
  
Elisa turned back to the serving hatch and looked at the male C'tarl C'tarl staring out from it.  
  
"Nice kid."  
  
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As Jim and Aisha walked through the door they met by a selection of all kinds of smells. The restaurant was a lot more crowded. Corbanites, Silgrians even a couple of Saurians sitting together in a corner. Elisa looked up and grinned at the pair.  
  
"Jim! This lovely lady must be your date. Am I right?"  
  
"Yeah, Elisa, Aisha, Aisha Elisa."  
  
"Please to meetcha" Aisha said with a smile.  
  
"Likewise, here, I've got your table all lined up." She walked them over to table and handed them each a menu. "I'll be right back in a minute or two to take your orders" With that the Waitress walked away.  
  
Leaning over to Jim, Aisha said "Nice place you found here."  
  
"Yeah it is. It actually said that they do authentic C'tarl C'tarl cuisene"  
  
"Really?" Aisha asked looking down at the menu.  
  
A few minutes later Elisa returned and took down Jim's order and turned to Aisha.  
  
"The Gasal Stew. Does that have Civea Roots in it?"  
  
"Yes my husband grows them in our garden"  
  
"I'll have that then." Aisha said grinning.  
  
"Gasal Stew?" Jim said  
  
"Yeah, haven't had that in years."  
  
"So what would you like to do next?" Jim said.  
  
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"A fair?" Jim asked as they looked up at the huge Ferris Wheel.  
  
"Yup" Aisha said bobbing her head. "Suzuka told me about it. C'mon" she said pulling James in to The hall of mirrors.  
  
"C'mon try and find me." Aisha said laughing as she darted away from him. Jim called after her to no avail. Jim tried following where she'd gone but quickly lost her trail. He wandered around trying to find her trail when he turned a corner running into someone he recognised  
  
"Jim?"  
  
"Hanmyo?"  
  
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Once again ill probably get slapped for this. I was actually wondering if anyone could tell me which episode this picture is from.  
  
http://www.projectbag.com/outlaw_star/pics/aisha04.jpg  
  
Cheers  
  
Nick 


	4. Chapter 2

Ok, if you want the truth as to why this hasnt been updated, scroll to the bottom of the page....If however you'd prefur a more....fun story stay here  
  
for the past 11(ish) monthsi have been entangled in an epic battle against the forces of pixies, invisible little gits that keep raising invisible zombies making Loughborugh a difficult place to live.....honnest.  
  
Right, still not owning these guys....that bit is true as well.  
  
Oh yeah Contest-Type time, If you can tell me the name of the three attacks jim uses while training you'll win....um.... a mysterious prize Answers in a review box  
  
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One of the things which I have been 'privileged enough to experience of the past few years is that the alien woman's capacity for Jealousy far exceeds her human counterpart.... At least I think that's true; I personally don't have that much experience with human girls. The one thing that you should consider is that quite a few Non-Human Girls have some incredibly strange and also dangerous powers, so I can offer you two pieces of advice, firstly, don't EVER give them a reason to be Jealous. Secondly if they ever do get jealous, try to calm them down as quickly as possible.  
  
From "Advice on the Courting of an Female Member of an Alien Species by a Human Male" by Tenchi Masaki  
  
Jim knew that he should feel happy but for some reason something felt wrong. Pushing it back as nerves he grinned and looked at his two companions, they were sitting at a small cafe area around a round table with a red and white striped parasol still up despite the late hour. To Jim's Left sat Aisha and to his right sat Hanmayo. The gap between the two girls could have easily fit one more person in but both of them seemed happy to have that gap.  
  
"So when did you and Jim meet?" Aisha asked, a polite smile across her face.  
  
"We met on the that space station about, five years ago wasn't it Jim?" Hanmayo answered. The years had changed her as much as they had changed Jim. No longer did she seem to have an obsession with pink, instead she now wore a pair of blue tight jeans, a denim waist jacket and a white, sleeveless blouse. She had let her hair grow and it now fell midway down her back.  
  
"Yeah it must be" Jim said scratching the back of his head. "So what have you been up to?" the hacker asked.  
  
"Oh a little of this a little of that" She said grinning at him. Looking across the table she glanced over at Aisha, her eyes betrayed her true feelings for barely a nanosecond but Aisha's eyes caught it. "So what have you been up to Jim?" She asked looking back across at him.  
  
"Oh lots of things," Jim said with a broad grin. "Picking up a few bounties here and there. Doing a few odd jobs here and there to make ends meet. We're on a bit of a vacation now, until the next job pops up."  
  
"What are you doing at the moment Hanmayo" Aisha asked, a touch of frost entering her voice, despite the polite smile on her lips.  
  
"Oh this and that, mostly hauling cargo."  
  
"Oh," Jim said remembering, "What happened to your cats." The blonde human missed the look of intense fury that passed over the human girl's features. Aisha didn't.  
  
"They...both died" Hanmayo said  
  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to bring back bad memories." Jim said putting a hand over hers.  
  
"Its Allright" she said smiling across at him through tears. Looking up at the Clock behind the table her eyes widened. "Oh No!"  
  
"What?"   
  
"I'm late," she said leaping off her chair and straightening her clothes. "Listen Jim, it was great meeting up with you again, Ill probably see you about." Turning to Aisha her smile lessened but still remained polite "Nice to meet you, Aisha" her voice cold enough to freeze a waterfall  
  
"You too, Hanmayo" The C'tarl C'tarl said in a voice rapidly approaching zero degrees Kelvin  
  
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Jim walked along the streets back to the spaceport with his arms crossed behind his head looking up at the stars, a grin across his face.  
  
"Wow, I never expected to see her again."  
  
"Oh" Jim turned around. If he didn't know better he would swear that his companion was angry. She was walking a few steps behind him with a carefully neutral expression on her face.  
  
"Is..Something Wrong Aisha?"  
  
"No, I'm fine!"  
  
"Are You Sure?" Jim asked. This just wasn't like her; usually it was a challenge stopping Aisha from saying whatever came to mind but this...  
  
"Jim, if I said that I'm fine, it means I'M FINE!" Her Outburst shocked the blonde hacker into silence for the rest of their journey.   
  
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Jim stood facing the training dummy, his wooden Broad sword held before him in both hands at approximately hip height. The Blade making a 45-degree angle with his spine. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath and held it for a few moments before slowly breathing out. Opening his eyes he began his kata.  
  
He didn't understand what was wrong with the C'tarl C'tarl. The second they'd entered the star she ignored and efforts he made to suggest a vid or a game of something or another. She just shut herself in her room and proclaimed, when Jim knocked on her Cabin, that she just wanted to be left Alone.   
  
Confused and a little annoyed, Jim headed immediately to the converted training room to try and work out some frustrations, which is where he found himself now.  
  
Sprinting Forward he slashed the figure a glancing blow to the ribs, skidding to a stop six feet behind the dummy, he span around and repeated these running slashes 5 more times. Adopting a different stance he once more charged the manikin in a much more deliberate run, the tip of his sword dragging along the floor until, about a metre away, he swung the blade upwards giving a devastating slash from the dummy's mock crotch to its chin. Bringing the blade behind him with both hands until it was parallel with his pine, Jim focused all of his energies into the sword and leapt high into the hair. As he began his descent he swung the sword over his head and down splitting his 'opponent' completely in two.  
  
The silence which was punctuated only by Jim's panting was shattered by a steady clapping from the doorway. Turning, Jim saw Gene standing in the doorway, a pair of tonfa tucked under one arm applauding the hackers performance.  
  
"Think you can do that against someone who's fighting back?" the redhead asked with a grin. Jim brushed some hair out of his eyes and grinned.  
  
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The Two Men Stood about 15 feet apart, Jim with the same serious expression he always wore before he began a fight, while Gene looked back with a cocky grin. Without any visible signal both combatants charged each other. Gene span his weapons round so that they no longer guarded his forearms but stretched out past is fist and attempted a double jab to the younger mans mid-section. Warned by the Redhead's shifting of grip, Jim brought his sword up knocking both tonfa out of the way, and, spinning around launched a counter attack-thrust which missed his partner by a hairs width.  
  
"So why did you two come home so early," Gene asked, launching a two-pronged attack, one stick aimed at Jims Hips the other his head.  
  
Ducking Genes attempted headshot and parrying the other Jim Launched a powerful, wild swing, more designed to give him some fighting room than to actually connect. "We met an old friend of mine at the fair."  
  
"Oh yeah?" Gene said leaping back and flipping his weapons back into the defensive position  
  
Jim Brought his sword back in front of him waiting for the next attack or gap in Gene's defence. "Yeah, so we all sat down and had a drink together"  
  
"Sounds Like Fun." Gene said, making a false start in an attempt to put the blonde of his guard  
  
"Yeah, it was." Jim said sprinting forward, swinging his sword in a series of fast broad strokes, causing Gene to back up further. "Don't know why it annoyed Aisha though."  
  
Gene stopped moving and started using his superior strength to block Jim's strikes "Aisha didn't like your Friend?"  
  
Jim backed up and let his sword fall to his side "Yeah, which is odd as she was nice to Aisha."  
  
The Pilot let his arms fall to his side. "She?"  
  
"Yeah an Old friend of mine, Hanmayo"  
  
"Let me Get the facts right here." Gene said walking around until he was behind Jim. "You and Aisha Go out for a date."  
  
"Yes"  
  
"You Meet an Old Girlfriend of yours"  
  
"Hanmayo isn't a girlfr-"  
  
"Let me finish. She's a Girl who's a friend, yes?"   
  
Jim's only reply was a nod.  
  
"Ok then. So then you spend the rest of your date talking to her, instead of with your current Girlfriend"  
  
"Yes?" Jim Replied, a strong hint of uncertainty creeping into his voice  
  
"And you still think its odd that Aisha didn't like Your Friend"  
  
"But she was just a friend" Jim moaned at eh elder man  
  
"Do you think that's how Aisha sees it?"  
  
"Gaaah. This makes No Sense." Jim said looking down at his shoes  
  
Companion Gene put an arm round the blonde hacker's shoulders  
  
"Welcome to the world of Women Jim."  
  
Turning and looking up at the Outlaw Jim asked, "Were things this complicated between you and Mel?"  
  
"Y-y-y-yeah, something like that" Gene Stammered.  
  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
"Aisha, Open up, I know you're in there!" Jim said banging on her Door.  
  
A few seconds after he had returned his practice blade to its rightful place Jim found himself in front of the C'tarl C'tarl's room.  
  
"I'm not leaving until you speak to me Aisha!"  
  
"What do you want Jim!" She yelled back slamming the door open. Despite looking more angry than he had ever seen her, her eyes were bloodshot red and tear marks ran down her face.  
  
"I just.... I just wanted to say that I'm sorry," he said, looking down at the floor. "I didn't think that spending time with Hanmayo would upset you as much as it did, "And I just want you to know that, if not spending time with Hanmayo is what it takes to make you happy then that's what Ill do."  
  
Aisha's eyes softened and a smile appeared on her face. "No I'm sorry Jim, I guess I just overreacted."  
  
Both stood there grinning like idiots at each other for a few long moments before a cry was heard from Gene down the corridor of "Kiss her you Idiot"  
  
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Ok, please review and tell me whether any impersonation of tallent i was able to do a year ago has disappeared all together.  
  
I just want to thank all the people who've bugged/reviewed me to get me to continue this story.  
  
Oh yeah, truth about why not continuing this earlier....I was piloting Mecha on an alien plannet....see told you the invisible pixies were more fun :P 


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